Thank you

I cannot begin to tell you how overwhelmed and honored I am by the outpouring of love and support from you all ... God bless you all for your sweet compassion and understanding ... messages and candles from the stalwart supporters who have written every night, messages from people who had been following Ginger's journey in silence ... oh dear Lord what a wonderful blessing to read these throughout this day and evening ... for those who have asked after the rest of our family, my husband, the Damcat, DB, Banshee and Snoopy ... my husband is grieving deeply, he always has felt a special connection to Ginger, as she jumped in his truck at our gate, and he said (like the 10 year old who lives inside all grown men 'can we keep her?' ) ....the Damcat has felt the loss of his big red friend very deeply, he looked for her everywhere, and he was there when I collapsed in grief after I first heard the news, circling me, meowing piteously ... he is better now, very loving (unusual for the Damcat) ... the dogs were a wonderful comfort to me today, they knew, of course,before I even did, they knew our sweet red girl wasn't coming back this time... I am glad my husband waited to tell me until I got them fed and kenneled and had time to go inside and compose myself to come back out and talk to them ... we had a good after breakfast run, around the whole property, stopping at the spots Ginger loved the best, the wild plum trees, the drainage pond, the oak trees ... later this afternoon my husband and I mowed, as I've said before when I would mow Ginger would stick by my left side, back and forth, while the others went off about their doggy business ... not tonight, tonight when I'd look up, there'd always be ONE of the dogs, either laying under a tree watching me, or standing just off to one side while the other two went off about their business... they'd change places every ten minutes or so, Banshee would lay under a tree, her eyes never leaving me, I'd look up again and Snoopy would have taken her place, then DB ... and so on until I finally went back to the garage, all three at my side.

I have the dogs fed and kenneled now, back to the computer ... to read the memorial messages for my Ginger ... but my sweet red girl isn't here in the flesh to read them aloud to, so I'm just reading them silently, and copying them into a file to hold close to my heart forever ...

YES I believe my Ginger is running free, across the bridge, meeting up with all the dogs (and cats) who have gone before her (I think that's what uplifts my spirit the most, the thought of Ginger meeting the dogs we've met through the lists who have gone before her, and the others so many of you have written to me about .... and all of them in that special part of Heaven where they wait for us to join them... ) and YES I believe I felt her spirit this morning, at my left side, waiting for her treat, and YES I believe her spirit will be with me whenever I need the loving touch of her sweet soul .... but oh Lord, it is SO hard to not be able to stroke her silken ears, to look into her beautiful brown eyes, to feel her tongue on my cheek ... our love for our animals is so rooted in the physical, it is so hard to lose that ... I am grateful for my other animals and their loving kindness today, I am grateful to my husband and his strong support, and I am so grateful for all of you ... God is indeed good, to have blessed me with such a remarkable throng of angels on this earth, who have cared enough to join in our journey, right up to the end...

Live each moment as if it were the last ... see and cherish the 'ordinary' for the extraordinary gift from God it really is ... believe in the power of love and prayer ... that God is good .... and dance through the valley of the shadow of death, fearing no evil ... the lessons my journey with sweet Ginger have taught me and I have tried to share ...  thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

--
Mary Lou
DB,Banshee, Snoopy(dogs)
Ginger in spirit (2005-04/09/10)
Damcat
Callie in spirit (04/90-06/07)
http://marylouandcompanions.blogspot.com/
http://gingeroftheflyingears.blogspot.com/

Ginger is gone from this earth Friday April 9

Ginger is gone from this earth. She did not make it through the night. The world is a darker place without her bright loving spirit but she is dancing with ears flying on the other side of the bridge, the wind in her face, her nose tilted to catch the scent of birds... oh it is so hard to be without her here. I got up this morning, let out the other dogs and took them for the AM run, down at the bottom of the hill Snoopy came up for her treat at my right side and I then reached to the left to give Ginger her treat, she was not there in body, and I think I knew then because in my heart I saw her sitting there, eyes aglow, eager for her treat ... then Banshee caught the rabbit she and Ginger had been looking for under the chinaberry tree, and DB was harassing her for it, so I went back up the hill quickly to avoid any altercations, got their food, fed and kenneled them, came back inside, my husband then told me the vet had called and my sweet red girl had not made it through the night. The vet said there were no signs of distress or struggle, she had just made the choice for me and gone to sleep and not woken up. I had known in my heart yesterday afternoon, but I had let my head outrule my heart ... Ginger told me to let her go then but her bloodwork was good and I told her that there was a chance to beat the infection again, as she did 2 weeks ago... and she tried, for me. Oh, my sweet red girl, I wish you were still her with me on this beautiful day, but that is not God's will, no, you are dancing with the angels, running with all the other animals in God's beautiful pastures and woodlands.

Thank you all for your love and support, your prayers and messages, my Ginger had a GOOD  3 months since this evil disease was diagnosed, and she had a peaceful passage to the other side, with your love and support.

--
Mary Lou
DB,Banshee,Ginger and Snoopy(dogs)
Damcat
Callie in spirit (04/90-06/07)
http://marylouandcompanions.blogspot.com/
http://gingeroftheflyingears.blogspot.com/

Late PM Thurs April 8

I am writing one more update tonight, I have gotten an email from a dear friend which made me realize my intentions for Ginger are not clear, and I am going to share my response with you all, as there may be others who are wondering the same ... I am very much opposed to causing animals, or people, to linger on past their time and suffer, I have helped my animal companions in the past across the bridge when they told me it was time ... if it were legal, I would do the same for my human loved ones. I have a deep faith in eternal life for ALL God's creatures. I was actually prepared to let my Ginger  go this afternoon, but I wanted to see what the bloodwork was, I fully expected it to show renal failure and high calcium, I told Ginger that was what I was waiting for, and, I told her that since her BW was OK, that meant it was the infection and there was still a chance the antibiotics might work. I HATED leaving her there tonight w/o even seeing her again but my husband went to get her before I could stop him, he was worried about me I think and wanted me to sleep. But anyway, when he called from the vet and the vet told me she was in such bad shape I could not bring her home, I wanted her to be as comfortable as possible tonight.

I am trying to picture her with her eyes bright and her ears flying, not laying there unresponsive with dull eyes, I do know in my mind that the antibiotics
take time to kick in but oh it was so hard to leave her like that. I am SO against causing animals (and people) to linger on past their time, but I felt there is still hope the antibiotics will work and the fever will break. I obviously will know tomorrow. If she hadnt 'come back' from the brink of death 2 weeks ago and then was fine, no, I would NOT put her through this. I made the decision to not put her through any more aggressive chemo, as it was not working as hoped for, and to not put her through radiation as there was only a tiny chance it would be effective, and I wanted her to have a good quality of life to the end and did not want her stuck away in a hospital undergoing any more treatments. But I felt she has a chance to beat this infection as she did before, and so did the vets.

Ginger has taught me a  lot in the past 3 months. I had previously thought that I did know how to live in the moment, enjoy the little things of life, but I didnt, not really, not as I do now.

PLEASE try to reach out to my Ginger tonight, let her know how much
she is loved, and try to picture her as bright and shining and running
with her ears flying. The rest is in Gods hands.

Here are some of the beautiful messages I've received today .... Fight that fever Honey-you can beat this!!' ....'A candle of hope and healing for Ginger. May she dance again soon and often!' .... 'For Precious Ginger...Lord please hold her in Your healing Hands and make her strong and give her Mom courage and trust in You'....'Ginger-May God's healing touch you tonight and heal your pain and give you comfort. All my prayers and love are with you'....
'Mary Lou & Beautiful Ginger...May God Bless both of you in yet another battle with this beast. Get better soon, Ginger....gotta turn those motion lights on! Keep us posted when you can. Hugs & drools' ....'Dear Sweet Ginger....this candle is lit to help light the way for you to find your way back yet once again. You are loved by so many!!!! '....'Ginger of the Flying Ears, I hope St. Francis holds you in His arms, and that you are happy for as long as possible. Bright Blessings to you. '....'I have lit a candle...to continue the healing and to show my love for you and your guardian. Fly high, Beautiful, touch the stars and bathe in God's Holy touch.'....'Ginger-A healing prayer is sent your way, from my heart to God's ear. May your days be long and as beautiful as you!'

Thank you all, my dear friends, from the bottom of my heart. God is good. He sent you all to me and Ginger.

Mary Lou
DB,Banshee,Ginger and Snoopy(dogs)
Damcat
Callie in spirit (04/90-06/07)
http://marylouandcompanions.blogspot.com/
http://gingeroftheflyingears.blogspot.com/

Thurs April 8

AM: Called ER vet this AM. Ginger still on IV, just laying there. Temp
still 105. Not eating or drinking or responsive. They do have her on
pain meds. My husband says he thinks that is why she is still groggy.
We are going to go to Augusta and get her as soon as traffic clears
(for those not in the USA and/or not into sports, the Masters Golf
Tournament is this week in Augusta which means you can't get in and
out of town until about 10AM) and bring her to my vet in Aiken. I have
to see her for myself and I guess have bloodwork done and call
oncologist. The fever a week and a half ago came down by the next AM
she was fine so this may be the end. Thank you for your prayers and
messages of support last night and this morning, I don't know what I'd
do without you all. Pray for us today.

PM Update:
Picked Ginger up at ER vet 1100 AM. She was almost unconscious had to be carried to car. Got her to Aiken vet.  Had to be carried in, but once in the room she stood up, I took her slowly outside where she pee'd. Temp 105. Barely responsive, barely recognized us, would try to roll on her back for a belly rub.  Gained 2 lbs of fluid weight since last night. Back on IVs and more antibiotics at 1230.  Vet said it could be pain meds she was given making her groggy or fever. Blood work done, renal function fine, calcium normal, liver elevated. Oncologist and local vet said try another 24 hrs, leave her on IV antibiotics til they close and then bring her home and take her back in AM. This was about 230 PM. Went home. Let other dogs out for run. Then fell asleep around 415PM. Husband then woke me at 5 PM and said he would go get Ginger in Aiken. He was gone before I fully woke up. Husband just called from vet. Ginger still has fever of 104 is now having diarrhea and  6 PM still too weak to walk and must be carried. They are still hopeful the fever will break tonight as she is pumped full of antibiotics and it has gone down 1 degree again. I am going to leave her there tonight as I did 2 weeks ago, although they do not have all night staff someone checks dogs every 2 hrs and if in pain will give sedative, which I cannot do and will clean them up from diarrhea. I am so afraid she'll start that shaking again, it is terrifying.  I cannot pick her up and carry her outside and  do not want husband putting his back out again. I guess I should have left her in Augusta at the ER vet but frankly I do not feel comfortable with them except for that one vet tech. No one including the oncologists can understand what is going on except the infection whatever it was must have come back. (These are definitely not side effects from chemo, her last chemo was the CCNU  which was February 18, she has only been on pred and Leukeran since then.) But it does not seem to be the cancer aggressing again as the oncologist said it would show in the calcium levels and also her renal function (as the worst affected nodes are the ones that cut off her urethers.) There is also the possibility of the nodes going necrotic, the oncologist said he had thought if that were what was happening the infection would not have responsded to antibiotics 2 weeks ago and the only way to treat her now is the antibiotics and fluids. I feel awful not bringing her home but I believe it is better for her to be at the vet overnight. Also there is a tornado watch tonight.

I deeply appreciate your prayers and support. I am looking for the good in today, and, of course it is that we have received all this love and support, and, the bloodwork was normal, and my sweet red girl does have a chance to pull through yet again. God bless all of you for your caring and compassion during this long day, and keep praying tonight that Ginger may be dancing again tomorrow.
-----
Mary Lou
DB,Banshee,Ginger and Snoopy(dogs)
Damcat
Callie in spirit (04/90-06/07)
http://marylouandcompanions.blogspot.com/
http://gingeroftheflyingears.blogspot.com/

Wed April 7 Please pray for us

I got home about 430, had been at accountants, husband still in town.
Let dogs out, noticed Ginger didnt run to kennel gate, but then perked
up and was fine, took them on a brief run (still hot) then let Ginger
inside, gave her some eggs and liver water. I then lay down. Ginger
joined me in bedroom. Had a brief nap, phone rang, gor up answered it.
Then I noticed Ginger hadnt followed me into kitchen. Went back to
bedroom, she then followed me to kitchen. Answered some emails then
noticed Ginger laying by me ... shaking. I took her temp, 102.7. She
wouldnt eat even liver water. Its after 6 PM, the vet is closed. I got
an antibiotic down her (covered in canned dog food, she then ate a few
mouthfuls out of my hand.) Called husband, he still in town a half
hour away. She is still shaking. She wanted to go outside where she
drank water. I then fed and kenneled the other dogs, Ginger followed
to kennels but won't eat. She followed me back to the trailer but wont
come inside. She is now on the porch. She is still shaking. Her temp
still 102.7. I dont know what to do. I am waiting for husband to get
home I guess to take her to ER vet. Please pray for us. Oh my Lord,
please help me.

=====

Update 11:15 PM

Just got back from ER vet. Left Ginger there on IV fluid and antibiotics and pain meds til tomorrow. When husband got home around 7 PMher temp was 104.5. I put wet towels on her belly and gave her sub-cu fluids, which seemed to slow the shaking to a tremor, but  decided to take her to ER vet. in Augusta It's about 45 min away. ( I could not face going through the night with Ginger in pain or in fever and waiting til morning to take her to Aiken.) By time we got there she was shivering violently again, and beginning to dehydrate (gums looking bad.) Temp 105. Admitted her (at least they let you stay with her while IVs placed etc), her front legs are too scarred now so had to do back leg. Ginger very sweet and dignified. Vet said will try different antibiotics, also pain med in case she is in pain. The tech on duty tonight used to work at the UGA oncology dept. so was very familiar with cancer patients. Ginger was resting more comfortably but still trembling when left around10:15. From what I remember of my  conversation with oncologist last time this happened, if its a secondary infection the antibiotics will work, if its the nodes going necrotic it won't. We should know tomorrow AM if it is working. I will call oncologist in AM. to see what he says. The ER vet is so gawdawful expensive ($650 for the 24 hr IV and antibiotics), however my local vet only can do IV in daytime (which worked last time, but not an option tonight) Also its Masters Week in Augusta so you really have to pick times to be able to even get over there and back.

THANK YOU for your prayers, I could feel your support, it kept me relatively calm and focused. At least I managed to take her temp properly , get an antibiotic into her, and give her the sub-cu fluids and get wet towels on her belly (none of which I would have been able to think straight enough to do without the advice from so many of you during our last crisis, and without feeling that you were all 'pulling for me' and I couldn't let Ginger (or y'all) down.)

--
Mary Lou
DB,Banshee,Ginger and Snoopy(dogs)
Damcat
Callie in spirit (04/90-06/07)
http://marylouandcompanions.blogspot.com/
http://gingeroftheflyingears.blogspot.com/

Tuesday April 6

Another warm, sunny, polleny day ... a golden haze over everything ... AM run, Ginger and the rest energy filled, down the hill we go, Ginger trotting at my left side, the others ranging around us, Banshee again heads for the chinaberry cave ... and emerges covered in yellow, coated in pollen sticking to her damp fur... Snoopy chases balls, DB runs to the back fence, Ginger explores the ditch, then back up to the trailer for meds, get food, feed and kennel, go to work... half day in Saluda (driving through the back roads, kicking up clouds of pollen) back at lunch time... dogs greet me with great excitement, go inside, Ginger springs up from the couch and just about knocks me over in enthusiasm... she's home! in the middle of the day!! Yes, it means extra eggs! This is my day for pet therapy with Banshee, I collect her and put her in car, DB tries to come with us, husband stops working and holds DB and Banshee and I go to the nursing home, where it's so good to see our friends, people and dogs ... who are all in Ginger's fan club and ask after her ... return home after pet therapy (with a side trip to buy dog food, and update the SuperPtez girls on Ginger, who is a well loved customer) then back home, by this time I'm so overwhelmed by pollen I have to lay down (our bedroom has an air purifier) after greeting Ginger, Damcat and the rest ... up again, into my mowing outfit, it's cooler now, take the dogs for a good evening run, Ginger again trotting by my left side, around and around the trees (I'm trying to keep the vetch from climbing up the young trees) then back up the hill for supper, feed and kennel, bring Ginger in for meds and ground turkey .... she is very energetic, keeps wanting to go out (now that its cooler and not as polleny), so I sit on the porch with her, counting stars .... another good day for my sweet red dancing girl, thank you Lord, and thank you all for your prayers and support, without which none of this would be possible.


Mary Lou
DB,Banshee,Ginger and Snoopy(dogs)
Damcat
Callie in spirit (04/90-06/07)
http://marylouandcompanions.blogspot.com/
http://gingeroftheflyingears.blogspot.com/

Monday April 5

Sunny, very warm, pollen in yellow clouds, looks like smoke ... good
AM run, Ginger lively ... gave meds, fed and kenneled, went to work
... through the pollen haze ... rough day at work, AC out upstairs,
much work to be done ... husband calls midday, says all the dogs are just laying around, the air quality is terrible, their water buckets
keep getting pollen in them, he and worker were putting in trenche and almost passing out from the pollen (even though they had masks on)
 ... Ginger inside, won't go out (smart dog). Got home in evening, DB,Snoopy and Banshee met me enthusiastically at gate, Ginger VERY enthusiastic when I got inside, hurling herself at me, dancing around in circles. Got changed and took them for run, tried to do some mowing, managed to get mower stuck, so walked back, Ginger right at my side, the others circling around us, dark anyway ... got food, fed and kenneled, brought Ginger inside for evening meds ... she is still jumpy with nervous energy ... but a good day for her. Thanking you all for your prayers and support and for accompanying us on our journey
...
-----
Mary Lou
DB,Banshee,Ginger and Snoopy(dogs)
Damcat
Callie in spirit (04/90-06/07)
http://marylouandcompanions.blogspot.com/
http://gingeroftheflyingears.blogspot.com/