Sunday, January 30, 2011

January 9, 2011: The anniversary of Angel Ginger's diagnosis

As I was writing tonights weekly update for my Companions blog, I realized ... it is January 9. The anniversary of Angel Ginger's diagnosis .... I had been dreading this anniversary , somehow more than the April 9 anniversary of her death ... it was the day my world fell apart, I know it sounds absurd, but I had not realized that dogs got cancer at such a young age (she was 4 and a half) and it had never occurred to me that a dog could be in apparent perfect health one day and the next, near death. I had many animals before in my life, they either died of old age, in a relatively peaceful way, or in a traumatic accident... I can remember my total meltdown, my total disbelief ... and my determination to do whatever I could to help my sweet red girl ... the 3 months that followed ... the ups and downs ... I still cannot read my daily journal all the way through, but i am glad I did chronicle Ginger's dance through the valley of the shadow of death ... i believe I learned more, about love, and courage, and compassion, and faith from those 3 months than the rest of my 64 years on this earth ... the wonderful people I met, some in 'real life', some on the internet ... the caring, the compassion ... and Angel Ginger's steadfast courage right to the end. My God what an experience. To those of you who were with me and Angel Ginger ... thank you for being a part of our journey. My life will never be the same.

My favorite prayer, the one I try to live my life by, is St. Francis' prayer, the 'peace prayer'
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace; where there is hatred, let me sow love; when there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; and where there is sadness, joy. Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood, as to understand, to be loved as to love; for it is in giving that we receive, it is in pardoning that we are pardoned, and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen