Monday, January 9, 2012

It's been 2 years ...

It's been 2 years ...

Here is what I wrote last year .....

it is January 9. The anniversary of Angel Ginger's diagnosis .... I had been dreading this anniversary , somehow more than the April 9 anniversary of her death ... it was the day my world fell apart, I know it sounds absurd, but I had not realized that dogs got cancer at such a young age (she was 4 and a half) and it had never occurred to me that a dog could be in apparent perfect health one day and the next, near death. I had many animals before in my life, they either died of old age, in a relatively peaceful way, or in a traumatic accident... I can remember my total meltdown, my total disbelief ... and my determination to do whatever I could to help my sweet red girl ... the 3 months that followed ... the ups and downs ... I still cannot read my daily journal all the way through, but i am glad I did chronicle Ginger's dance through the valley of the shadow of death ... i believe I learned more, about love, and courage, and compassion, and faith from those 3 months than the rest of my 64 years on this earth ... the wonderful people I met, some in 'real life', some on the internet ... the caring, the compassion ... and Angel Ginger's steadfast courage right to the end. My God what an experience. To those of you who were with me and Angel Ginger ... thank you for being a part of our journey. My life will never be the same.



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And now another year has passed. And still this day is burned in my mind. In 2010, Jan 9 was a Saturday ... I got up and let the dogs out for their morning run, and my Angel Ginger just stood there. No running up to lick my face, no taking off like a red arrow to run joyously along the fence line ... she just stood there. And finally, slowly, followed me ... all the way down the hill... and back to the kennels. Slowly, so slowly. And she wouldnt eat. My sweet red girl with the voracious appetite ... not a bit. I took her iside tried to tempt her, finally she ate one small bite ... and then a little more, I was so relieved, I thought maybe she just had a stomach upset ... as the day wore on, she acted a little better, but she never pooped, I thought maybe a blockage? Frantically on the Internet, trying to find an answer. ... the next day, Sunday, she was no better, and ... she had a swelling in her abdomen ...took her to ER vet ... the Xrayed and did blood work and found a mass ...and high calcium levels in her blood ... and she was in renal failure ...we were at my regular vet the next day ... he said he'd never heard of a cancer popping up like this ... it took 2 days to get to oncologist, by this time my poor girl hadnt eaten at all ... but she was still trying to follow me ... the oncologist confirmed lymphoma, and started chemo and IV fluids, she was in hospital 2 weeks ... and then, I brought her home ... our battle only lasted 3 months, she fought so hard ... and she had good days, mostly... I do not regret trying the chemo, it did at least put her in partial remission, enough for the sublumbar lymph nodes (the only ones affected) to stop the pressure on her urethers, so she no longer was in renal failure ... and she gained back the weight she'd lost, and ... she ran again, ears flying joyously ...



I feel your spirit tonight, my sweet red girl ... and no, I will never forget.

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